Tuesdays

So today I handed in a 2500 word essay for Journalism on The Role of the Internet throughout the American Election. I don't understand why we would need to write something like this for Journalism? I don't know. I'm over Journalism. I needed to work on getting some American History resources. I just gave up and referenced wikipedia. Oh well, my reference list and my bibliography were quite good. Next semester I'm going to take a break from Journalism. I'm going to take another French subject in place of Journalism... so just a switch. I just need a break from writing such horrid, stupid assignments.

I'm also looking into going to France at the end of the year. At first I was looking at taking a language course, my friend is going to France to be an Aupair. Currently looking into this for two months over Christmas. I'm watching The Biggest Looser: damn the brothers look good. I also watched Master Chef tonight. I was upset. Nothing as good as the UK version. Yeah... I guess that's about it!

Some interesting/scary things:

* Swine Flu: Swine influenza virus (referred to as SIV) refers to influenza cases that are caused by Orthomyxoviruses endemic to pig populations. SIV strains isolated to date have been classified either as Influenzavirus C or one of the various subtypes of the genus Influenzavirus A. Swine flu infects people every year and is found typically in people who have been in contact with pigs, although there have been cases of person-to-person transmission.Symptoms include fever, disorientation, stiffness of the joints, vomiting, and loss of consciousness ending in death.
* What makes you yell? Straight from the waves of Triple J. I CANNOT stand when people don't use there effing blinkers!
* Do you have any vices?
* It's getting cooler: What is a must for you this winter?



I'm sick. Blocked nose, runny eyes, strange stomach, exhausted, sore throat.
The worst bit is that I'm super tired but I cannot seem to sleep.
Oh well, I've not had a cold in over a month - about time!

How did your week go? Better than you expected or worse? Are you going to make a change next week? I'm going to spend more time out of the house next week. Be more proactive. Change things up! Here comes a list of awesome things:

1. Dita Von Teese is in my opinion is such a beautiful women. To me her style and her body are pretty much all the things I wish to have!
2. Lindsay Lohan interview where on Australian TV Ellen was said to 'grill' Linsday.
3. Miss USA and her views on gay rights.
4. Turkish TIme: my friends and I went out to dinner last night. It was lovely! We're looking into starting a club and dining out once a month togeter!
5. Spending time during the day reading. I find myself falling asleep because I read in bed. I'm currently reading The Great Gatsby, which is quite a nice read.
6. Baking: Yesterday I made ANZAC cookies. They had to be one of the eaisest things I've made for a while!
7. Kidrobot
8. Tarina Tarantion: Do I need to say anymore?
9. TUK shoes: the joys of internet buying
10. My new Peter Alexander dressing gown. Oh, dear - I've died and gone to heaven!
11. The Boat People: I'm off to see them today!

Next week I'm getting inked again, and hopefully getting my nose pierced. Howz exciting! Also exciting is Labour Day next Monday. My plans are to drive down to Byron Bay: who's interested?



Love and Art

Zilla

Changes

So I wrote this entry tonight in anticipation that tomorrow m internet will be back to it’s speedy self! But it seems a bit better - Ha, - I joke (I kid, I kid), I will put up with it to post this entry. that Anyway, it’s almost nearing holidays. This is really making me think about what I’ve done this year, what I’ve got to get done this year and how far I have come in the last twelve months. Thinking back to the person I was then, it was obvious that I wasn’t happy. I spent so long trying to make things better, by wishing. The thing is, nothing can change unless you go out and create change. So often I would sit at home, at the computer or at the television wonder what I had done to hate myself so much, and why I just couldn’t live a normal life, free form all the stress that normal activities were causing me. I was really unhealthy in the way I live my life, it lacked balance and everything I did was done on impulse and in binges. It is only through a lot of hard work that I have managed to make such a change on my life. A year ago, I was often thinking of how long I had left. The horrid, destructive things I was doing were taking such a toll on my body, and I really just wanted to give up on life. Now, it isn’t some perfect story, and I didn’t just wake up one day and love life and myself. Things still aren’t perfect. I don’t expect them ever to be. I am still sick, but I’m slowly making a change for the better so that in a few years I can lead a normal life. Fully aware of all the fears I have, I acknowledge them as a sign this illness rather than my own wishes for my life.

Many of you have been reading my journal for a few years, and while choosing not to write about this problem has helped me (much to my surprise) people know of the struggles that I have. They’re not over, but I do believe they will be one day. Positive though is a state of mind, and I do believe that we can change our opinions. “Life is in the details” reminded by my friend tonight. For me, little things such as reading in bed, watching a DVD, making banana smoothes, the health I feel from eating good foods, yoga, saving to travel, taking pictures, painting my nails – all these things, while small, make me feel wonderful, happy and in control.

Life is really short. And we really have to think about what is important. Uni for example. Working really hard to make sure we get 5 or a 6 or spending time with your friends, having an adventure or relaxing. When we look back, we want to know that we lived our lives by choosing the important thins, the things that will in the end – allow us to lead a better life. Focus on the things that you’ve done, not on what you haven’t. Did you have a piece of chocolate today when you swore you wouldn’t? Address what went wrong, and try again – but try not to get into excuses.

I can feel that this year is going to continue to be a good year, because I am going to make an effort. So, these are my tips to making positive changes in your life:

1. Make an affirmation. A simple phrases that you repeat or write daily. It is said that if we say or hear something enough we will start to believe in it. Instead of repeating negative words, focus on a positive mantra.
2. Eliminate the negative. I thought that by picking through my issues, I would find some reason for them – wrong. By not placing all my attention on them, they seem much smaller.
3. Find a hobby: We all need some distraction. It might be knitting, cooking, drawing or swimming. Anything that can take you outside your daily stresses for an n hour or so. Time to reflect on what you want out of life and check in with yourself.
4. Treat yourself well: Don’t focus on weight, but on eating healthy, daily exercise, meditation or relaxation, good sleep, a healthy water intake and keep the alcohol to a weekend activity.
5. Plan for happiness: Little things like going to the movies, wearing your favourite outfit, spending time on the couch with the cat. Put down at least on of these actives on your weekly to do list.
6. Make goals: If you are bored in life, you don’t have enough goals. Make sure you’re always working towards something. Something realistic with a timeline and a measurable achievement level.
7. Put yourself first: Worry about the things you’re doing in your life before you start stressing about what others are doing. You are your on your road, keep remembering that. Who cares what Bob and Fran are doing – they’re not living your life.
8. Dress to impress: It may sound vain, but feeling good and confident in what you’re wearing can add that extra spring in your step. Clothes are the first things you say about yourself without saying anything.
9. Laughter: Ellen, YouTube, Scrubs… what ever it is. A good laugh is not only good for the stomach muscles, but lightens you up and jump starts your good mood.
10. Journal: This is where you can keep track of everything. Your food, exercise, goals, progress, to-do list… all those things. A space where you can reflect on all the things that are in your life that are stopping you being what you want to be. Not just a place to bitch about all that’s gone wrong, but somewhere you fix the things that have gone wrong.

I’ve made big changes, and I’ve employed all ten of the above tips. It’s still hard work, and I have to keep checking myself when I get stressed and find myself slipping back to old habits. But I really didn’t see a future for myself. Now, I just want to really live everyday to it’s fullest – no time to waist when there are so many things I want to do before it’s too late. And if all else fails, perhaps refer to an amazingly dodgy mantra: I will shine in 2009!

I Do Not Regret!

I watched La Vie en Rose the other day. It's a movie about the amazing French singer Edith Piaf. She has a rather depressingly beautiful life. She wasn't a loved child, raised by prostitutes, went blind for a while, joined the circus and rose to fame, had an affair with a boxer, saw her world fall apart again and again. I adore her music. I found it most tragic that she died at such a young age. Only the good die young? She sung a song called "Non, je regrette rien" meaning no I regret nothing. One of the many things that has been ticking through my mind lately has been this song title. It got me thinking: Do I regret anything, is it good to regret things....?

A lot of time I find myself thinking "Oh, I'm not proud of that" or "I wouldn't do it again if I had my time over" is this regret? We all seem to combat this negative setting with a positive "but it did show me who my real friends were" - something sweet to the sour. Is this then a regret? Reflecting on my life, I do think there are things that I wish I hadn't don - things I regret... but they are all apart of who I am today and help to create my motivation, my personality and my determination. Yes, once again that loop a sweet chaser.

I do think something that's not so much a regret, but perhaps a shame is that I was for far too long afraid to be myself. On this note, I think it's great to have approval for things but I'd sometimes think that if you have approval from someone to do something, you're only doing it to suit another. I don't know if that's super coherent. But I mean... we were at lunch yesterday and my co-worker make a comment about "It could be worse, it could be tattoos" which my mother replied with "They'll be next". Part of me is quite happy that my tattoos are not known about in the adult world. Because the things I do I do for me. I don't talk to my mother about getting piercing because I'm the one who wants it. Her disapproval unwanted, it makes me think she believes it's a reflection on her part.

We've actually had a cancer scare in my house lately. Dad went to skin doctor and found a mole that caused some concern. The nurse and the doctor had reported their first indications to be a Meligment melanoma. After further testing, all came good. I guess it put things in check for me. Not so much that "Oh, I could lose my father" more so reaffirming my belief in living each day to it's fullest. Sometimes it means getting that assignment done and then indulging in some awesome cookies as a reward, or a day of art appreciation, a day filled with friends and tea, a day spent with nature, or a PJ day in which sleeping, reading and television revolve. I do not believe that there is really a bad why to spend your days... as long as you do it with the right intentions. Although I am a massive believer in doing things that make your life better, and take you further down your road.
Regret, regret and regret. What are your opinions on it?