Tuesdays

So today I handed in a 2500 word essay for Journalism on The Role of the Internet throughout the American Election. I don't understand why we would need to write something like this for Journalism? I don't know. I'm over Journalism. I needed to work on getting some American History resources. I just gave up and referenced wikipedia. Oh well, my reference list and my bibliography were quite good. Next semester I'm going to take a break from Journalism. I'm going to take another French subject in place of Journalism... so just a switch. I just need a break from writing such horrid, stupid assignments.

I'm also looking into going to France at the end of the year. At first I was looking at taking a language course, my friend is going to France to be an Aupair. Currently looking into this for two months over Christmas. I'm watching The Biggest Looser: damn the brothers look good. I also watched Master Chef tonight. I was upset. Nothing as good as the UK version. Yeah... I guess that's about it!

Some interesting/scary things:

* Swine Flu: Swine influenza virus (referred to as SIV) refers to influenza cases that are caused by Orthomyxoviruses endemic to pig populations. SIV strains isolated to date have been classified either as Influenzavirus C or one of the various subtypes of the genus Influenzavirus A. Swine flu infects people every year and is found typically in people who have been in contact with pigs, although there have been cases of person-to-person transmission.Symptoms include fever, disorientation, stiffness of the joints, vomiting, and loss of consciousness ending in death.
* What makes you yell? Straight from the waves of Triple J. I CANNOT stand when people don't use there effing blinkers!
* Do you have any vices?
* It's getting cooler: What is a must for you this winter?



I'm sick. Blocked nose, runny eyes, strange stomach, exhausted, sore throat.
The worst bit is that I'm super tired but I cannot seem to sleep.
Oh well, I've not had a cold in over a month - about time!

How did your week go? Better than you expected or worse? Are you going to make a change next week? I'm going to spend more time out of the house next week. Be more proactive. Change things up! Here comes a list of awesome things:

1. Dita Von Teese is in my opinion is such a beautiful women. To me her style and her body are pretty much all the things I wish to have!
2. Lindsay Lohan interview where on Australian TV Ellen was said to 'grill' Linsday.
3. Miss USA and her views on gay rights.
4. Turkish TIme: my friends and I went out to dinner last night. It was lovely! We're looking into starting a club and dining out once a month togeter!
5. Spending time during the day reading. I find myself falling asleep because I read in bed. I'm currently reading The Great Gatsby, which is quite a nice read.
6. Baking: Yesterday I made ANZAC cookies. They had to be one of the eaisest things I've made for a while!
7. Kidrobot
8. Tarina Tarantion: Do I need to say anymore?
9. TUK shoes: the joys of internet buying
10. My new Peter Alexander dressing gown. Oh, dear - I've died and gone to heaven!
11. The Boat People: I'm off to see them today!

Next week I'm getting inked again, and hopefully getting my nose pierced. Howz exciting! Also exciting is Labour Day next Monday. My plans are to drive down to Byron Bay: who's interested?



Love and Art

Zilla

Changes

So I wrote this entry tonight in anticipation that tomorrow m internet will be back to it’s speedy self! But it seems a bit better - Ha, - I joke (I kid, I kid), I will put up with it to post this entry. that Anyway, it’s almost nearing holidays. This is really making me think about what I’ve done this year, what I’ve got to get done this year and how far I have come in the last twelve months. Thinking back to the person I was then, it was obvious that I wasn’t happy. I spent so long trying to make things better, by wishing. The thing is, nothing can change unless you go out and create change. So often I would sit at home, at the computer or at the television wonder what I had done to hate myself so much, and why I just couldn’t live a normal life, free form all the stress that normal activities were causing me. I was really unhealthy in the way I live my life, it lacked balance and everything I did was done on impulse and in binges. It is only through a lot of hard work that I have managed to make such a change on my life. A year ago, I was often thinking of how long I had left. The horrid, destructive things I was doing were taking such a toll on my body, and I really just wanted to give up on life. Now, it isn’t some perfect story, and I didn’t just wake up one day and love life and myself. Things still aren’t perfect. I don’t expect them ever to be. I am still sick, but I’m slowly making a change for the better so that in a few years I can lead a normal life. Fully aware of all the fears I have, I acknowledge them as a sign this illness rather than my own wishes for my life.

Many of you have been reading my journal for a few years, and while choosing not to write about this problem has helped me (much to my surprise) people know of the struggles that I have. They’re not over, but I do believe they will be one day. Positive though is a state of mind, and I do believe that we can change our opinions. “Life is in the details” reminded by my friend tonight. For me, little things such as reading in bed, watching a DVD, making banana smoothes, the health I feel from eating good foods, yoga, saving to travel, taking pictures, painting my nails – all these things, while small, make me feel wonderful, happy and in control.

Life is really short. And we really have to think about what is important. Uni for example. Working really hard to make sure we get 5 or a 6 or spending time with your friends, having an adventure or relaxing. When we look back, we want to know that we lived our lives by choosing the important thins, the things that will in the end – allow us to lead a better life. Focus on the things that you’ve done, not on what you haven’t. Did you have a piece of chocolate today when you swore you wouldn’t? Address what went wrong, and try again – but try not to get into excuses.

I can feel that this year is going to continue to be a good year, because I am going to make an effort. So, these are my tips to making positive changes in your life:

1. Make an affirmation. A simple phrases that you repeat or write daily. It is said that if we say or hear something enough we will start to believe in it. Instead of repeating negative words, focus on a positive mantra.
2. Eliminate the negative. I thought that by picking through my issues, I would find some reason for them – wrong. By not placing all my attention on them, they seem much smaller.
3. Find a hobby: We all need some distraction. It might be knitting, cooking, drawing or swimming. Anything that can take you outside your daily stresses for an n hour or so. Time to reflect on what you want out of life and check in with yourself.
4. Treat yourself well: Don’t focus on weight, but on eating healthy, daily exercise, meditation or relaxation, good sleep, a healthy water intake and keep the alcohol to a weekend activity.
5. Plan for happiness: Little things like going to the movies, wearing your favourite outfit, spending time on the couch with the cat. Put down at least on of these actives on your weekly to do list.
6. Make goals: If you are bored in life, you don’t have enough goals. Make sure you’re always working towards something. Something realistic with a timeline and a measurable achievement level.
7. Put yourself first: Worry about the things you’re doing in your life before you start stressing about what others are doing. You are your on your road, keep remembering that. Who cares what Bob and Fran are doing – they’re not living your life.
8. Dress to impress: It may sound vain, but feeling good and confident in what you’re wearing can add that extra spring in your step. Clothes are the first things you say about yourself without saying anything.
9. Laughter: Ellen, YouTube, Scrubs… what ever it is. A good laugh is not only good for the stomach muscles, but lightens you up and jump starts your good mood.
10. Journal: This is where you can keep track of everything. Your food, exercise, goals, progress, to-do list… all those things. A space where you can reflect on all the things that are in your life that are stopping you being what you want to be. Not just a place to bitch about all that’s gone wrong, but somewhere you fix the things that have gone wrong.

I’ve made big changes, and I’ve employed all ten of the above tips. It’s still hard work, and I have to keep checking myself when I get stressed and find myself slipping back to old habits. But I really didn’t see a future for myself. Now, I just want to really live everyday to it’s fullest – no time to waist when there are so many things I want to do before it’s too late. And if all else fails, perhaps refer to an amazingly dodgy mantra: I will shine in 2009!

I Do Not Regret!

I watched La Vie en Rose the other day. It's a movie about the amazing French singer Edith Piaf. She has a rather depressingly beautiful life. She wasn't a loved child, raised by prostitutes, went blind for a while, joined the circus and rose to fame, had an affair with a boxer, saw her world fall apart again and again. I adore her music. I found it most tragic that she died at such a young age. Only the good die young? She sung a song called "Non, je regrette rien" meaning no I regret nothing. One of the many things that has been ticking through my mind lately has been this song title. It got me thinking: Do I regret anything, is it good to regret things....?

A lot of time I find myself thinking "Oh, I'm not proud of that" or "I wouldn't do it again if I had my time over" is this regret? We all seem to combat this negative setting with a positive "but it did show me who my real friends were" - something sweet to the sour. Is this then a regret? Reflecting on my life, I do think there are things that I wish I hadn't don - things I regret... but they are all apart of who I am today and help to create my motivation, my personality and my determination. Yes, once again that loop a sweet chaser.

I do think something that's not so much a regret, but perhaps a shame is that I was for far too long afraid to be myself. On this note, I think it's great to have approval for things but I'd sometimes think that if you have approval from someone to do something, you're only doing it to suit another. I don't know if that's super coherent. But I mean... we were at lunch yesterday and my co-worker make a comment about "It could be worse, it could be tattoos" which my mother replied with "They'll be next". Part of me is quite happy that my tattoos are not known about in the adult world. Because the things I do I do for me. I don't talk to my mother about getting piercing because I'm the one who wants it. Her disapproval unwanted, it makes me think she believes it's a reflection on her part.

We've actually had a cancer scare in my house lately. Dad went to skin doctor and found a mole that caused some concern. The nurse and the doctor had reported their first indications to be a Meligment melanoma. After further testing, all came good. I guess it put things in check for me. Not so much that "Oh, I could lose my father" more so reaffirming my belief in living each day to it's fullest. Sometimes it means getting that assignment done and then indulging in some awesome cookies as a reward, or a day of art appreciation, a day filled with friends and tea, a day spent with nature, or a PJ day in which sleeping, reading and television revolve. I do not believe that there is really a bad why to spend your days... as long as you do it with the right intentions. Although I am a massive believer in doing things that make your life better, and take you further down your road.
Regret, regret and regret. What are your opinions on it?

This Week

So it's been a pretty full on week. I'm in a place where all that I want to write seems so secondary compared to sleep. As I wrote a couple of entries back, Mum had her feet operated on - which means I'm picking up the pieces. I've been going to bed at 11 and been up at 6, and when the days are filled with driving little brother to school, cooking dinner, shopping for food and cleaning, pet care etc. it becomes quite exhausting. At least my work schedule isn't too intense - I'm working 4 days from 8-3. This means I have time to go to the gym, walk the dog and cook dinner before a crazy hour! This is why I've not updated... I've thought of lots of things, but yes... time slips away. But I slept in until 8, the housework is done, and all I have to do today is, walk the dog and cook sushi for dinner giving me time to go to yoga and dye my hair.

What I have done this week is a 'deep clean' of my room. My room is tidy, but I did the whole "pull everything out of the draws and clean" clean. Which took quite along time but has many positive results such as being able to open my desk draws without the contents spilling out. I also did the same with my bathroom draws, and had all my jewelry boxes lined up in the draw. Dear, that last thing makes me feel so LA trash like. But it makes me feel really refreshed when I come into my room. I've also put a white board magnetic board thing on my wall, which I can write up to do lists and stick up pictures and what not. And, I've also kulled my wardrobe!!! I've got 4 garbage bags of clothing. Now, I'm not really sure I want to get rid of them... so I'm doing to buy some cheap storage boxes from Crazy Clarks and put them away, so I can really see how much I need, what isn't particle and what I enjoy the most. I've halved my wardrobe. Pretty much, If I've not warn in more than three times in the last 6 months, or I don't know what I'll wear it with is in the bags. Here are my tips for wardrobe kulling:

1. Make sure you have some good music, a fan and are in a good mood as it can be a big job
2. Get 3 - 4 bags so you can separate your clothes into: Keep, storage, charity, bin. Storage being things that may be too small, or are bulky winter clothes that you want to put away, clothes that you don't wear but are in good condition go to charity and then bin for undies and clothes that are falling apart.
3. If you haven't warn it more than 3 times in the last 6 months, you can probably say that it's not an important part of your closet - get rid of it. Free up some space for new season clothes. This exception is to formal dresses - I decided to get some command hooks and display my 18th dress, and some vintage dresses on my wall.
4. Write a list of what you got rid of - so you can find trends. For example - I had five black skirts and as many black cocktail dresses. Next time I see a nice black dress, I'll know that I didn't wear the ones I had so I should look at shoes instead!!
5. Place everything back neatly. Try to invest in wooden or material hangers. I've got mostly plastic, but my collection of wooden and cloth is growing. DO NOT USE WEIR HANGERS! This is so bad for your clothes; it can change the shape and stain them. Ikea have some really cheap plastic ones, likewise for Target and Coles. Put your clothes back in an order that suits you, I enjoy colour arrange. There is nothing better than going to my closet and seeing the rainbow of cloth hanging neatly to entice me. Arranging neatly means you can see what you've got, makes picking easier too.


Okay, so I said that I’d give credit to things I like on Sundays. I’ve been slack – so here is this week’s list:
1. Sleeping in
2. Staying in pajamas all day
3. Sunday lunches
4. Yoga
5. Movies with families
6. Making cupcakes

From Tuesday

Things are good. Very busy. Very, very busy. I've been running around like a frantic house wife trying to get everything done. This resulted in a minor breakdown last night as my very tight schedule was broken and I couldn't get everything done. I do believe that perhaps this intensity is due to PMS... let's hope. How horrid would it be to find out that this crazy mess isn't due to chemicals - I even have a pimple to prove it!!

So, I've been working and I don't have anything besides self reflection to write about. Another year of uni is about to start in a few weeks. It seems to distill in my a sense of newness, even though I've been at uni for 3 semesters. I find it the perfect time to start a new, and work hard on becoming the person that I want to be. Looking back from when I finished school, there is a huge change... I used to listen to pop music, dress like everyone else and failed to form a view on things that weren't reinforced by society. Perhaps this now means I'm in limbo - that horrid term of 'mainstream alternative' - people always have music genre subgroups, don't they? I think in our minds, we always see a project of how we want to be and we seem to always compare it with how we are now. Change is good, change is growth in these terms. This year, I'm going to work on becoming the person I see in my mind. The person I see is happy and smiling from the inside out, pink hair, amazing shoes and self assurance. This reflection comes with the fact that my 20th birthday is next month, and I feel that leaving teenage years gives me room to become all of this.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day or Saint Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrated on February 14 by many people throughout the world. In the West, it is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine's cards, presenting flowers, or offering confectionery. The holiday is named after two among the numerous Early Christian martyrs named Valentine. The day became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.

An alternative theory from Belarus states that the holiday originates from the story of Saint Valentine, who upon rejection by his mistress was so heartbroken that he took a knife to his chest and sent her his still-beating heart as a token of his undying love for her. Hence, heart-shaped cards are now sent as a tribute to his overwhelming passion and suffering.

The day is most closely associated with the mutual exchange of love notes in the form of "valentines." Modern Valentine symbols include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten notes have largely given way to mass-produced greeting cards. The sending of Valentines was a fashion in nineteenth-century Great Britain, and, in 1847, Esther Howland developed a successful business in her Worcester, Massachusetts home with hand-made Valentine cards based on British models. The popularity of Valentine cards in 19th-century America was a harbinger of the future commercialization of holidays in the United States.

The U.S. Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year, behind Christmas. The association estimates that, in the US, men spend in average twice as much money as women.

Bathing in the Cold Night

And the bruise



Well hello all. Things have not changed much in the vast one day that has passed. I am still here, in Japan. Wearing my brightly coloured thermals and many a bruise. I told you about my incident with the chair lift yesterday, well the bruise is on its way out. It's looking amazingly seductive at current with its shades of green, purple, black and red. I know you are all jealous. I will also let you in on the post card situation. I saw some really horrid ones, but kept my money in my pocket for something better, alas I'm yet to find anymore. After skiing today I decided that I wanted to catch the bus down to the little village to have a look around and buy some food etc, but when weighing up things, I decided that I'd rather get the lift to the shop in the Hilton, despite the 5% mark up. It really wasn't worth the struggle to put on all my wither gear, wait for the bus, ride into town, figure out where I was, search for food and post cards, wait for return bus - you get the idea. So, back to postcards... the guy in the shop wasn't sure where I could find 'postcardu' from either. If I see some, I'm going to snap them up like they're going out of fashion!!!

Skiing has taken a turn for the better. With my Dad having a dreadful fall (so he says, but he's fat and unfit and likes to complain) he's off for the rest of the holiday. Mum, Sam and I have been spending the mornings together enjoying the fresh powder and also giving my mum a lesson. The afternoons are spent (after a coffee - or in today's case, a green tea latte YUM!) searching for some black runs, park work or off piste stuff. Tomorrow I'm going snowboarding, which is very exciting. Last time I did it, on the first day I cam all the way from the top to the bottom, I was so proud!! Tonight we are going into town for dinner. I'm sort of tired, and would much rather just go back to bed in my thermals. I find the thought of jeans and make up overrated on a ski trip. Perhaps because breakfast is big (Japanese tofu, seaweed, spinach, mushroom, fish, miso and a couple of spoons of all bran with dried fruit.) although healthy and full of everything that's needed for a day of skiing. Lunch is a coffee followed by more skiing, then après involves many a diet soda (I don't drink it, but after a day of skiing it is more vital than water) and some awesome Japanese wasabi peas, or peanut eggs, squid chips so by dinner I don't feel hungry... or like dressing up. But I am going to the gym for an hour in the morning, so I am trying to stay fit and 'healthy'!

My Onsen Adventure
I thought I'd let you in a wonderful experience I had last night. After two recommendations from fellow Australians working in the hotel, I went to the Onsen. For those who don't know, I'll give you a brief overview. It's pretty much a 'tub' Japanese style. It involves showering, then entering a hot spring outside - NAKED! Yes, you heard me - NAKED! So, after dinner (about 8.30) I pulled on the beautiful hotel robe, and slippers and took the lift down to the Onsen. You walk through the hanging flags, and pull open a wooden door. It's a bit like an up market gym, with beautiful polished floors. You take your slippers off and get disrobed in the change room. Although you can wear a towel for modesty. Then you go through the door and it's a huge slate room. To the right is a huge big bath with floor to ceiling window looking onto the snow; the left are cubicles with showers. They are low. You sit on a wooden bench, and you have a wooden bucket, as well as an array of beautiful skin products. You wash yourself, and then proceed past the indoor bath to the outside. You have to walk down 5 steps, which are flowing with water in which you step into the 42-degree bath. It is right next to a fishpond and overlooks the mountain. The contrast between the hot water and the cold snow produces extreme steam and therefore creates a really private feeling. It was wonderful. I felt so relaxed, and relaxed within myself too. I was a lot less scared than I thought I would be. Then, when you’re finished, you walk up the stairs and wash again. Then behind the lockers, there are individual basins with face products, hair driers - so you can glam up again. It was truly amazing. I felt so refreshed. I really love the Japanese way of life. I would trade it for mine any day. I've always been drawn to an Eastern lifestyle, I'm just unsure how to put these things in my life back in Australia.

Japan - A week And A Half So Far

The snow is wonderful, it's not too cold and there are some beautiful sites. My motto for the holiday is 'no regrets' meaning that if I get to a jump I don't second guess myself, just go for it. I have three aims for the trip: do a tail grab, do a grind and snow board a blue run. I'm a skier, but I'm learning to snow board. Slowly! We went on a tour in Tokyo. I hate tours - it's official. I hate the organization of it all. The whole "meet back at the bus at this time" The fact that lunch was pre booked and crap. The fact that you get put into a box of a Western tourist who is likely to buy overpriced fans or anything with the Japanese stamp. I'm far too independent for that. But I did get some nice pictures, so I guess that's a plus!


I am having a wonderful time, Japan is very much on my 'BEST OF' list!!
Sapporo was awesome too, when we flew in, all I could see was snow, snow snow!!


Sorry about the lack of comments on your posts, and replies too.
Internet - like everything - is expensive.

Today was amazing and I'm dead tired.
Food is amazing.
Green tea, nori, fuji apples, salmon, pocky, milk tea, sush, dried vegetables, chesnuts, lychee jelly.

I find these end of year holidays give way to self reflection.
I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing!

Okay so I had the expectations of updating you all with quick sentence or two and many a photo, but I feel that I cannot leave out any details, thus when the detail is actually not so detailed. Yesterday I went to Harajuku. Which I'm sure many of you know as the home of the gothic lolittas. As it was a NY holiday, there weren't as many of them, but still plenty of photos! We also went to Shibuya to 109 which is an 8 level clothing store, it is crazy. And packed, packed packed! I've never seen as many people in my life as i have in Tokyo. The levels are so small, and full of crazy teens shopping. The workers are up on boxes trying to yell above one and other to get your attention. I did get some awesome knitted, knee high white socks, some candy coloured knitted fingerless gloves, some lace socks, some knee high stockings with bows on the back and some crazy rainbow tights. Today we went to Asakusa which was beautiful. I bought some chopsticks, all those sort of things. I also got some really good pictures too. This afternoon I went on a mission to find Hello Kitty but, alas no luck. Seriously, that really shocked me! I ate the best Fuji Apple ever, some sugar free lycee jelly and some dried vegetables for lunch. Breakfast was some fruit and Japanese plate - it's a buffet so I just tried a bit of everything. I'm not too keen on the pickles, but overall, I like a Japanese Breakfast. Tomorrow we are going to Hakone. I'd say the next time I'll update it will be in the snow! I am having such a good time, watching awesome Japanese game shows and secretly laughing at J-Pop. I love Japan, and I love the culture here. I don't know what to do when I get back! I've waited for this trip for so, so long. I'm so lucky that I've been able to live a dream! I can tell you now, I am going to come back here!!

Today was a good day, all in all. I'll get the bad bit over first so I don't leave a bad taste in your mouth. So, the whole deal about camera shopping.... the camera I wanted was priced at $5000AUD. It's an old model so I thought I'd be able to get it uber cheap in Japan, but sadly, it's too old and they've completely sold out. They had a price at $700AUD but there were none left. The new model is crazy expensive too, and after some looking about I thought I'd perhaps look into a 50D, which I believe in Japan is about $2000AUD. I told him all about it, and said that I didn't mean to pressure him but I've been waiting and saving for this camera for about 7 months, and I'd be willing to pay half (or some other deal). I thought this sounded like a good idea. But, I got in response a big slap in the face. The whole deal about how I don't need a new camera, I just want one and that I don't understand the value of money if I just want to buy things with it. And that I should be savng my money in case something happens... okay, yes fair point. But I am 19 - I make $120 a week. And I think it's a bit mean to run me the 'value of money talk' on a Christmas present. I hate to compare myself to my brother but I do find that there is a large differance in the way he is treated to the way I am. For example for Christmas he got a new lap top and a Korg synth (Which was together over $2000) and then there are all the small things, like books, CDs and clothes that he got. I did ask for nothing, and told them that I'd rather them put the money towards a camera. I feel like my Dad has a strong contradiction in why Sam got a Christmas present that he wanted - not needed where I am not allowed something I want as opposed to needed. There is a whole other argument where I feel that my photography is at a point where I can move on to a better camera in order to take it from a hobby to a job. I know that I'm just a bit down because I had my hopes set on getting a camera here and never dreamed that I'd get slammed for asking for it. Yeah, I don't think it too petty, I really believe there is a huge injustice in the way my brother and I are treated and while I'm all the way over here, there is no one to really talk to or anywhere to get away to that I can express how I feel. This has been happening all my life with one thing or another. We were were little, I always used to get the blame for anything, even if my little brother would tell my Dad that he was at fault. I guess it's just an old fashioned thing. I try to get used to it but it still brings me down, more so when it's something like a Christmas present.

Moving away from all the negative talk, on to some of the wonders of Japan. I didn't update yesterday because internet is really expensive here. EVERYTHING IS EXPENSIVE IN THE HOTEL. For example, Coke is Y900 here to Y125 in a shop! Yeah, I know! Yesterday we went to the Ginza where we did some shopping (well, Mum did) and went to the Imperial Hotel and Gardens - the hotel is so old fashioned it's kind of a blast from the past! We came back home and had dinner at a local place which was really amazing. Today we went to Akasaka which is very electronic forward. We went back the the Giza to the 8 level paper shop and got some amazing traditional items which are just beautiful. I'll post pictures later. We went and had dinner at a little place under the railway line. All the did was chicken. I really hate chicken, but yeah... it was pretty good, and an awesome thing to do. We've been doing a lot of walking, it may not seem like we've been doing much, but the shops open about 11 here, so we get out of the hotel at about 11.30 and we're not getting back until 8. Tonight we went to a supermarket and *le sigh* went to McD - my brother got an ice cream.

I've noticed here that although there is a lot of sweets and treats, they are all very low in fat (well calories) for example, I had some green tea ice cream cake and it only had 80 calories, my milk tea had 80, my massive sushi roll hat 120 and my miso 35. And with all th walking, I really don't fell bad about having some treats. Seriously, I'm on holidays! Vegan diet awaits me at home!

It takes quite a while to upload pictures here, so they are going on Facebook. I've noticed a couple of you added me - and I've added you back! So, go to facebook for photos. It's late here, so this shall be photoless! Okay, I lied - these three are going up!!!!

I also got complemented on my Japanese today!
GO ME!


Hello, greetings from Japan once more. How was everyones New Years Eve? How did you celebrate, and more importantly - did you kiss a stranger at midnight and what did you wear! I hope there are not too may sore heads, none from those who wish to drink less this year! I feel that 2009 is going to be an amazing year. 2008 was a lot better than 2007 but I feel like I am a place in my life where I can really make things work.

Japan is amazing. It's really beautiful. It was abnormally quiet as it is a MAJOR holiday here. It's a very religious day. We went to Harajuku to a massive temple with perhaps half of Japan to throw money. There were some good photo moments, and it wasn't too cold. I had fish, miso soup, green tea (the BEST green tea I've ever had in my life!), fruit and some strange dumpling things. Lunch was late, some miso soup and some 'made it yourself sushi' from 711 and more green tea. Dinner was a bit of a non event as we are dead tiered and everywhere is closed. Salad and banana smoothie and a couple of mouthfuls of some chesnut parfait. Not so healthy! My NYR are to be more healthy, but also to relax more therefore if I make sure I go to the gym in the morning and try o eat balanced, I won't feel guilty about some of the amazing Japanese treats!

Of course there are some New Years talk I want to write about, but I feel that I'm just so tired that I may not be able to get across just what I mean without puring typos and misunderstandings across the web. I do know that a lot of what I want to be viewed as respectful and capable person and work on deflecting my emotions with either stupidity or humor - although I'm not saying there is a place for that!! I'm still working on writing a manifesto, and fully reflecting on last year. And because of this, I may update this entry tomorrow after a night on a hard bed. Has anyone found that the beds in Tokyo are really firm?

Okay, so I'm waiting for some photos to upload so I may as well get on with some of my goals for next year. Of course there are the 5 major ones I made a while ago - save money, loose weight, eat vegan, improve results and be more creative. But they are of course goals and aims, but there are not the reason why I want to do it. The drive behind it perhaps? So below will be some sort of life motto for 2009.



The Year of All that I can Be
I want to hold 2009 in both hands. To always have something to look forward to but yet, at the same time never regret that I wished time away. I want from 2009 to know that I've done all I can to make myself the best I can. My outlook on this year is that it will be a year in which I am truly myself and not let anything define me rather than me selecting things that reflect and endorse who I am. I want want I wear to be a mirror to my mood, to my day, to my feelings. I want it to be in simply art. I don't want to view clothes as cotton which we sinfully hide our bodies with, but an expression of Zilla. I do not want to settle for mundane, I want to push the envelope to becoming a creative being. I will this year, understand the whole truth to things that I engage myself in, I will stop falling back to safeness when I am unsure. I am going to respect my body and give it what it needs and in turn be rewarded by health and a feeling of satisfaction. What ever I do, it will be an action of growth, health and creativity. I will not accept anything below what is not my best. 2009 and will be all that I can be and prove to myself that I am allowed to be all that I want to be.


The rest of my pictures are up on Facebook - Zilla Gordon. So, if you want to add me, feel free - perhaps write me a PM so I know that you are from eljay not a stalker!!

Tomorrow I'll be at the airport waiting to go to Japan. Today was a good day, the week as a whole has become a really busy mush of days rather than the gym, Japanese and sleep that I was expecting. Lots of nights out, lots of shopping and friends. I perhaps think that it has worked out for the better. Yesterday I went to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - it was really amazing. My parents had trouble understanding that it was a fantasy not a drama and things didn't make sense nor should they.

I went to Indooroopilly with Kate and James and I picked up a package that came from Bowerbird of a wonderful faux fur coat and a lovely vintage dress. I also bought two pair of shoes: heels and sneakers plus a cheap plaid shirt from Jay Jays for $10. I don't have a lot to update on, but I wanted to show you these lovely things I bought as well as giving you a 'hang tight, I'll update from the Land of Hello Kitty soon' sort of update.

Oh dear, I'm currently watching the American Kath and Kim, okay - it might be funny because it's lame ares and completely exploiting the American pop culture "I happen to have a lot of experience with gay lesbians" Ha... yes, that was funny. But really? The relation to the Australian one is so slim, the names, mother and daughter - that's it I'd say.